Resting, rekindling, and reworking

I've been on fall break since Wednesday afternoon.  and oh boy, has it been lovely! :)

There were a lot of options of things to do and places to go over fall break...I decided that I needed rest, time with Jesus, and time with my duplex family.  So, I stayed at the duplex where I spent my "summer in the Grove."  We did go to Columbus for most of Friday and Saturday...but even that was restful and delightful! :)

I knew that I needed this break.  Life was starting to really overwhelm me and I felt kind of lost and trapped.  In the last few weeks, I've kind of lost myself and who I became.  I felt myself slipping back to the person I was before this summer.  Was that a horrible person?  No, not technically.  But it certainly is a person not living the abundant life Jesus promised me.

My first morning here, I joined everyone for AOX team prayer.  At the end, Brad prayed and prophesied over me.  God gave him a picture of me at the top of a slanted roof.  But, instead of slipping down the roof, the sides came up to meet my feet until it was a flat roof.  Then the roof turned into a rock and it just kept getting higher and higher and higher.  This summer, there were so many times of feeling like I was fighting to keep up and climb higher...Looking back now, it was like I was on a steep roof, and wondering if every step I took was making me slide down or climb higher.  By the end of the summer, I felt like I was at the top, unsure of where to go next.  In the last few weeks, it's been like my feet have slowly started to drift apart, making me start to slip so gradually I was unaware.

The next part is so beautiful.  This weekend, Jesus reminded me that I don't have to fight to balance on the peak of the roof.  Instead, I just need to rest in Him, rejoice with Him, love on Him, live with Him, and He will make the roof rise up to meet me...and then He will take me higher.

This weekend, the roof rose up to meet me.  It's not 100% flat...but it is oh so close.  And Jesus has been talking to me about how to rework my life so that I let Him make it flat.

This, this life of letting Papa do His work and Jesus simply love me, is simply beautiful.  It is full of peace, rest, tears, pain, hope, joy, laughter, and the deepest love ever imaginable.

I challenge you this week to let Jesus teach you how to rest in Him and simply be loved on by Him.  Some of my sweetest times are when I put down my Bible and journal, turn down the worship music, and just listen to Jesus speaking love over me.  Really listen.

Freed Bird Song

So, Jesus and I kind sorta just wrote a song together as I was praying and trying to go to sleep.  Weird.  for me, anyways.

Here are the lyrics at the moment.  *insert CLAM TIME* [also known as SUPER vulnerability]

p.s. I think the caged bird thingy came from being in the duplex right now...where Courtney and Teresa were always talking of such things :)  ...and definitely feeling this way right now.

Caged bird sing;

Oooh your caged bird song.

Let love flow beneath your wings.

Caged bird fly;

Oooh caged bird fly.

Your heart was made to glide.

Little birdy rest in my arms

Little birdy make Me your home.

I made you.  I love you. 

I sought you.  I paid for you. 

I call you my own.  I never let you go.

So little birdy come to me.  Come to my arms

Little birdy sing your song.

It was made to be shared. 

This life that you're leading now,

I have a better plan.

So come and follow me today,

It's time now to go.

Little birdy don't be scared.

Get out of that cage.

Come along, your wings aren't clipped.

It's time to go higher than you ever imagined.

It's time to go farther than you thought could be.

Let My love carry you there

Let My heart set you free.

Freed bird sing.

Oooh your freed bird song.

Freed bird fly.

Your heart was made to glide.

Jesus finds me worthy of His love.

I've been singing "Unashamed Love" all day long.

Jesus is worthy of my love.  He is beyond worthy of it, actually.  He's worthy of every ounce of love I have to offer.  He's worth it all.  

Best part?  He thinks that I am worthy of His love. 

WHOA.

I can't help but cry at that.  Jesus considers me worthy to be His bride!

wow wow wow wow wow.

First, listen to Unashamed Love:

Now, listen to this song that my friend Hannah just shared with me.  Yes, it's from a man to his wife.  BUT, as Hannah put it "I also feel like it's just Jesus singing over us."  So true.  Jesus sings songs like this to us, the church, His bride, all the time.  We don't always hear it, but I have no doubt that He's doing it.  So, now listen to this song.  To: You.  From: Jesus, the Ultimate Lover.

the importance of rest and family

Papa has been tugging at my heart recently.  More than tugging -- pulling, grabbing, stretching.  He keeps telling me "Rest, Katy.  You need real rest.  You need to get away and spend time ALONE with Me. You need to just be with Me and be focused solely on Me.  You need to be in My word more.  You need to listen to what I have to say to you, for you."  But, I've been struggling with going back to slight "Grover" tendencies.  The idea of business being a good thing.  And even when recognizing that it is not, still remaining busy.  I'm learning that I need to fight for alone time.  I need to fight for long stretches of time with my Jesus when no one else is around.  It is so important to me.  It makes me a completely different person.  

And I have not been fighting for it.  Oh yes, occasionally, I have been.  But daily?  Definitely not.  And I feel it.

This summer, I had it.  Sometimes I had to fight for it...I had to make myself get out of bed early to go get on that porch and be alone with Jesus.  I didn't always want to...but as soon as I got out of bed, I did.  I miss my times on the porch.  I went there Sunday after church and read a Bill Johnson book.  It was wonderful.  I missed my special spot with Jesus...more than I even realized.  I now have a little area next to my desk with pillows and blankets.  It is going to be my new Jesus spot.  I think it needs Christmas lights. :)  Today, I spent over an hour there with Him.  I have a paper due tomorrow that I haven't started, but this is so much more important.  I just soaked.  I read His word.  I journaled.  I listened as Jesus spoke love over me.  It was wonderful.  I'm about to cry just thinking about how much I missed it and longed for it.  It's time to establish a new rhythm of life.

Papa has also been talking to me a bit about family.  Spiritual family -- both the one developing in Grove City and the one that I already have.  I haven't been as good about keeping in touch with all of my family from this summer as I had planned.  Yesterday, I had meal dates with two grovers that I know Papa brought into my life for a reason this year, yet I haven't been reaching out in those relationships as much as I should.  Today, I had two brief conversations with my family.  I realized that I hadn't talked to Bear since he left at the end of August.  I hadn't really talked to Courtney in a few weeks.  I know that I need to do a better job of being intentional.  Yet, today also showed me that family is always family.  Even if we don't talk for a month, we still love each other and know that we're still connected through prayer and the Holy Spirit.  Family is important and I need to make it more of a priority.

So, I have two challenges for you today.  Go rest in Jesus.  just stop what you're doing and go.  Schoolwork is important, but He is even more so.  He's just waiting for you to be with Him.

Then, go and be intentional with someone.  Even if it's just a 30 minute conversation on the phone.  Make time for people.  Make time for a conversation that goes past the shallow.  Share life with people that you used to share life with.  And then share life with people who you haven't before but know that Holy Spirit Friend is telling you to.  I'm pretty sure we all have people like that...people He keeps nudging us towards, yet we ignore it.  Stop ignoring it...go make them your family. :)