There has been one prayer that has resonated in my soul time and time again lately. Almost every day, I find myself uttering the words "Make me into a woman who is steadfast in hope."
I know people who choose words for the year, who decide on one word they want to describe that year, that semester. I've never been one to do that sort of thing. Until this year, when it just simply happened.
Hope.
A few summers ago, I remember the Lord putting a dream into my heart of one day owning a home with the word "HOPE" sprawled across the front door. Figuratively, yes, but also literally. A haven of hope for those who have lost it. A place of the resurrection of hope and faith. In order to have hope flowing through my home, I must first have it become what my heart screams into the darkness and what my life tells to others.
This semester, that is what I long for. Not a hope that fades or passes away. I long for a hope in Christ, in His promises to me, that is steadfast, immovable. Every single day, I long to be able to say that my hope is not reliant on my present circumstances. I desire to be able to say that no matter what the world throws at me, I will cling to my Hope, my God.
Even in the last few weeks, as this has begun to come up over and over and over again, this has been increasingly hard. Hope is hard to come by right now. Satan is throwing down the gauntlet and is trying to strip me of every last once of hope I have. The beautiful thing? Lately, this has just been sending me running, rushing, falling, collapsing into my Saviour's arms.
It's beautiful in the ugliest way. Interesting realization...I've always loved finding the beauty in the ugly. I used to have photographs of trash, dumps, and littered alleys on my dorm room walls. It wasn't your typical beauty, but I adored it. To some, it looked ugly and depressing. To me, it looked like a real world filled with hope. I suppose, now, the Lord is teaching me to love that beauty in the ugly areas of life.
He's been talking to me a lot lately about the weather. It's been really freaking cold for the last month (other than a couple little reprieves). Yet, the snow. Guys, the snow is so beautiful. There have been multiple days I've just freaked out because it legitimately looked like it was snowing glitter. It was stunning. But then, it got muddy. The beauty started to fade away as we kept walking through it. And then the Lord started speaking about the life beneath the snow. There is life forming that we cannot yet see. It's there and we will get to witness it...just not yet. Patience, children. Patience, and the new life will come. The greener days, the springtime will return. For now, enjoy the snow, find the beauty in this wintery season.
My prayer today, for you and for me, is that the Lord will make us steadfast in hope. That our foundations will be so solid that no storm can shake us.
Now everyone go listen to Sean Feucht's Song for Nations CD. It's on Spotify. It's been craaaaazyyyyy wrecking me. Including while I was writing this.
