On Tuesdays, I have lots of time for Jesus. I have breakfast with the wonderful Anna and then I have a date with Jesus at 10. and no classes. Granted, today I have to study for my Psych Stats exam (ew.), but still.
I was listening to some wonderful worship music and Garden by Misty Edwards came on.
Now I'm sitting in my favorite small town coffee shop with it on repeat.
I needed this reminder:
"I am not my own; I'm Your garden."
This is such truth. And I so often forget it...I forget that I am not my own. I am not Katy Westra's. I am God's. I am the bride of Christ. He is my husband. I belong to Him.
I used to have a "wedding ring" to Jesus. Not really a purity ring, but a reminder that I'm already married to the best lover in the whole wide world. It's not the most expensive ring in the world and one day at camp (when I was climbing over a tall, completely flat wooden wall. yeah, I'm a beast.) it softened and got all smushed and I haven't really worn it much since. I didn't even know where I'd put it. I didn't really care either because I got annoyed with everyone asking about my purity ring and then not getting that it wasn't one.
Today, as Garden was playing and Jesus was reminding me that I am His, I found my ring in a make-up bag that I never use anymore. I think there was a reason for that. I'm wearing it today. And I smile every time I see it. It's not just a trite thing anymore like it once was. My heart truly belongs to Jesus now. And it's the best thing ever.
Honestly, I do have a desire to one day be a wife and mother. This summer, Jesus promised me that would happen and I need to trust Him and not be afraid of it. I'm excited for whenever that happens, whether it's in two years or twenty. But, for right now, I'm married to only Jesus and He promises to satisfy me. He can fulfill me in ways no one else could even begin to and I love belonging to Him.
My ring is etched with the words Joy, Love, and Hope. I have Joy in the deep Love that I find in Him. I have Hope that one day I will really get to marry my Jesus and sit at the wedding feast with Him, as His bride. But, for now, I will rejoice in the love that we have here and learn to find complete satisfaction in Him.
