a greater depth of gratitude

Beginning this last fall, Papa has been teaching me about gratitude.  It hasn't been a topic that is constant, but one that is consistent.

I read most of Ann Voskamp's book "A Thousand Gifts" before I accidentally left it on an airplane.  I suppose now it's someone else's gift. ;)  The book challenged me and grew me.  It also left me with questions.

Gratitude.  Not always my strong suit.  Sure, I have moments of crazy thanksgiving, but a lifestyle?  Not really.

The idea that's really had me hung up this year has been giving thanks in all things and for all things. (Ephesians 4:20).  When someone dies of cancer, I can thank God for their life and for a myriad of other things...except their death.  When I pray for rain, I have a hard time thanking Him for sunshine.  When I pray for sunshine, I am not thankful for the rain. I tried to create a theology of thanksgiving...can I give thanks when the opposite of what I've been praying for happens? Can I give thanks when I believe evil is winning the battle?  How do I remain thankful while still walking in the authority given to the Church by Jesus?

Ann Voskamp posted this blog yesterday that kind of rocked me.  in a good way.  Please go read all of it.

This was like a fist in the gut... 

If I only thank Him when the fig tree buds — is this “selective faith”? Practical atheism? What of faith in a God who wastes nothing? Who makes all into grace?

If I know that He has promised to bring good out of all things, should I not thank Him for all things?   

I've decided this is what I want to remember. this is what rings true.

Murmuring thanks isn’t to deny that an event is a tragedy and neither does it deny that there’s a cracking fissure straight across the heart.

Giving thanks is only this: making the canyon of pain into a megaphone to proclaim the ultimate goodness of God.

I can still admit that no, this is not the way the world was intended to be.  Yes, there is such a thing as a righteous anger against suffering and injustice and pain.  Yes, Christ is going to redeem and heal.  Yes, He wants to use the Church to do just that.

But, as Ann point out in her blog, refusing to give thanks is saying that Christ cannot redeem the situation any longer.

Even after death, He can redeem.  Even after abuse, He can redeem.  Even after pain and betrayal, He can redeem.

Rather than becoming defeated and bitter, I long to be filled with gratitude.  I long to have a heart that looks forward to how God is going to bring Himself the most Glory and how I can be a part of that.  A thankful heart brings God glory.  A bitter heart does not...yet. ;)

Practice thankfulness in the midst of pain, confusion, doubt, worry, suffering.  Let's practice together, shall we?

Thank You for heat and humidity.
Thank You for change and transition.
Thank You for showing me that You will provide for my every need through community and crazy financial miracles.
Thank You for frustrating relationships that grow me.
Thank You for pain that causes me to run to You.
Thank You for uncertainty that makes me lean on You.
Thank You for circumstances that cause me to need to hear Your voice more often.
Thank You for death that reminds me of Your constant goodness in all circumstances.
Thank You for the wilderness that speaks to me of Your faithfulness and nearness to me.

Thank You for more opportunities for Redemption to win...whatever that looks like.